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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 5, 2012 12:00am-1:05am PDT

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news. gooch "good morning america" in the morning and tomorrow we will meet a trio of teenage girls who are normal except they are also exorcists. jimmy kimmel is coming up next. tonight, on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live." >> i'm beginning to think the primaries will always go on. and jessica simpson will always be pregnant. >> dicky: jason biggs. >> i like having sex with pies. >> jimmy: make a cake. >> dicky: and lionel richie. n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n
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n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n
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n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jason biggs. and music from lionel richie with billy currington. with cleto and the cletones. long last, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you. thank you very much. all right, thanks. thanks.
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i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you very coming. i didn't think you had the guts to show your face around here but you did. and i admire that. did any of you ever go on the internet? you know what i'm talking about? the worldwide web new might want to start watching what you say. there is a strange new law making its way through the arizona state legislature now. it's a bill that if signed by the governor would make it illegal to post negative comments on the internet. it could ban people from terrifying threaten harass offend or annoy another person. i think he mines kim kardashian is going to prison for a very long time.
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[ applause ] but, it's a serious thing. the penalty for annoying or offending someone is up to six months in jail. that is good. they are always saying the prisons are not full enough. critics say that it's so broad is that you can get arrested for making a comment on a youtube video. it could be great, a drug law sharing a cell with someone who said a kelly clarkson video sucked. they are giving florida a run for its money in the crazy department. that could be trouble for snooki from jt jersey shore." you know 123450ki the orange thing the size of a fire hydrant. you may have heard, she is pregnant. she tweeted a picture. and along the picture, she wrote, pregers pow esch, i'll cut a bitch if you mess with my
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maybe. a good title for a children's book. even if a bitch messes with your baby, continue cut a bitch, talk to a bitch. who knows? you may become friends with a bitch. and that is her favorite word. it's intirely possible that may be the child's name by the way. a child protective services worker has moved into her uterus. don't worry. ryan seacrest was on the "today" show. he is currently joining the nbc family. this on top of six seven other jobs. he had to get elbow surgery. he tore a tendon.
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he went tonight school became a surgeon and repaired the elbow. i know that unemployment is 8%. it's because of ryan seacrest. and people are starting to get fed up. >> america's job growth is lacking and the cause? ryan seacrest, abc, nbc, radio, cable, hundreds of jobs and he is not satisfied. >> one day the foreman came in and told me ryan seacrest is taking my job. 14 years of loyalty down the drain. >> ryan seacrest took my loyalty and my dream. >> who knew he was jewish? >> he must be stopped. >> must kill ryan seacrest. >> kill him dead. >> paid for by bucky covington. >> jimmy: well that is
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surprising. [ applause ] ironically that ad produced by ryan seacrest. this is pretty crazy. this is a video of a woman from harrisburg, north carolina this involves the after effects of anesthesia after having wisdom teeth pulled. and shot by her mother. >> i was in college. >> yeah, she thought you were in college. [ mumble ] >> we don't live in america? >> no. >> where do we live? >> i don't remember. oh no. >> harrisburg. north carolina. >> i don't know anything. >> what? >> hogwarts. >> hogwarts?
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we live in hogwarts. >> i'm a wizard. i'm a wizard. i forget! >> jimmy: she forget. sometimes i forget i'm a wizard too. he is a wiz zward no wisdom teeth. and it got weird enwhen she noticed the bandage on her hand. >> what is that? is that where they poisoned me? >> they stabbed me! >> with what? >> with a samurai sword. why you laughing? >> that would hurt. >> why are you laughing? >> wouldn't a samurai sword hurt? >> yeah. >> jimmy: why do you stab a wizard with a samurai sworld? youtube and the iphone with given parents a new world of
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ways to embarrass your children. this year's peabody awards for announced. i thought the video of kids eating prechewed food was going to win. it offers an award for service in television, radio and it's an on nor. yeah, pbs, home lands. some how, they forgot to nominate this station in fargo, north dakota. >> night time low, above average, and lows above average. a fine week ahead. once we get past the rain and thunder -- >> jimmy: 40% chance of wandering camera man. primaries were held in
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wisconsin, maryland and d.c. last night. mitt romney is the winner. i'm beginning to think that jessica simpson will always be pregnant and steven tyler will never die. people vote for mitt romney the way they go to a katherine heigl movie with their wife. fine. romney is catching heat for a possible violation of election rules. he was at doesens subs and as you can see, he is handing out free sandwiches. special romney sandwiches. they come on really really white bread. he gave them out to people and apparently this is against the law. the democratic party in wisconsin fired a formal complaint. not sure with who. quiznos, maybe. i think it's a good thing for the president. maybe he can bring peace to the east. and president obama last night, he collected enough delegates to
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clinch the democratic party nomination. now that the general election is getting nearer, obama has been asserting himself. this morning he attacked the republican plan and called the darwinism. and earlier tonight, he told his wife michelle i want some damn cheese on the damn veggie burgers. he's hungry. and politicians are always talking about the fact that children are the future. but children have no say what is going on. they just sit there drawing draw something on the ipad your wife bought you for your birthday and they have no problem thinking it's theirs and they have no problem rubbing their is notty hands all over it. recently, i sat down to talk with children about politics at
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an elementary school and they have good points of view. hello, young americans. >> hi. >> how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: thanks for doing this dmoch you know about politics? >> sort of. >> jimmy: would any of you like to be president of the united states? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right, very good. is there anything we should know about you? anything bad you have done that would revent you from being president of the united states? any skelennen tostons in the closet? >> no no. sometimes my sister is crazy can clothes. she wears clothes over clothes every day. so once i found her shoes and her clothes -- >> jimmy: i don't know where this is going. >> and everything she keeps in the closet and i was like what? and i clean it up and i'm like -- seriously, again? >> jimmy: this is going to be a
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real problem. you're going to have to get a whole team you know to put at spin on this. how about you guys? anything crimes? did you ever steal anything? >> one of my friends, took the fake money, all of the fake money from my friend sasha. >> jimmy: unbelievable. i think i have heard enough. i may need to call the police now. who is the vice president? >> joe bitem. >> jimmy: what thatthat's right. do you know why he is called that? he bites people. joe, bitem. >> i thought it was joe bindhim.
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>> jimmy: do you know how we are going get out of the recession? >> no. >> jimmy: do you know what that is? people don't have the as many jobs. >> i will find a job that doesn't cost much. i will find a job that doesn't cost much if they only have $98 and i will give them that job. >> jimmy: i have a question for you guys in whoch do you think is smarter, boys or girls? >> girl. >> girls. >> girls. >> boys. >> jimmy: who do you think is smellier? >> boys. >> boys. >> girls. >> boys. boys. >> boys because my brother's room stinks. >> because my stepmom, she has stinky, stinky feet. >> jimmy: she does? goodness. i'm sure she will be delighted
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you shared that with us. [ applause ] thanks, kids. tonight on the show, giant richie is here to shot and sing with billy currington, and we'll be right back with jason biggs, so stick around. [ male announcer ] extra polar ice ♪ ♪ icy, cool flavor in a delicious
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and help stop bullying bully this film is unrated >> jimmy: hi, there. we are back tonight on the program. a legendary singer-songwriter. his new cd, number one on the country charts and number two on the billboard top 200. it's an all-duets album called "tuskegee," lionel richie is here. and billy currington is here to join him from the bud light stage. tomorrow night, from the ncaa champion kentucky wildcats, anthony haifs will join us.
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lena headey from game of throwns will be here. and we'll have music from needtobreathe. and in the audience tonight, ali, the former bachelorette is here with her brother. >> i was not expecting this. i don't have any makeup on. i'm embarrassed. >> we going to embarrass your brother. he is wearing shorts incapable of being embarrassed. k are we were talking with the brother's friend. he works at the cheer's bar in boston. he has never seen the show "cheers." and aapparently, people ask him if he is woody and he thinks they are talking about toy
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story. there you go. there you go. welcome. it's good to see you. and i'm glad things worked out well for you and your brother. you can always rely on -- would you be interesting in becoming the bachelor? >> jimmy: never. >> he doesn't know i signed him up. >> jimmy: you would never consider it? >> no. >> jimmy: we would have to have you shave the beard. it's a little too manicured. it's nice to see you guys. our first guest has been in more than 20 movies, appeared on broadway and been directed by woody allen, but you probably 13 years ago, made sweet love made sweet love to a pastry. he returns with the whole gang when "american reunion" opens in theaters friday. please welcome jason biggs. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> i'm a really big fan of the bachelor, bachelorette. great to see you. imcan't believe you're not wearing any makeup though. [ laughter ] i mean, you look okay. you look okay. i'm wearing makeup. i look great. exactly. i'm excited to see ali. my mom jimmy, hello. >> jimmy: how are you? >> is super excited, freaking out, that i am on this show tonight, not because of you or me, but because of lionel ritchie ritchie. >> jimmy: how did she find out? the tv listings?
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>> she didn't find out from me. i didn't tell her. oh, you're appearing on jimmy kimmel i didn't hear it from the you. i had to read about it. my mother doesn't talk like that. that sounds motherly. she is so excited. >> jimmy: she listened to lionel a lot growing up? >> yeah, in the car, it was all lionel all the time. or whitney or billy ocean. >> jimmy: really? >> she is somewhere in that vein of '80s r&b. i can't wait to meet lionel. >> jimmy: you have to do that. i'm surprised she didn't try to come here and try to see her in person. >> i'm going to get so much heat. even jimmy said i should have come to the show. >> jimmy: it's the least you can do for your mom.
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she raised you, sang all the billy ocean songs in the car. >> i don't know that she will be able to stay up tonight to watch the show. but she will check it out tomorrow. more than likely she will fast forward through all of this stuff. >> jimmy: you are already then. >> get right to lionel and then go back, maybe, and watch her bit. i think have a way around this little littledilemma. the dilemma of my mother fast forwarding through this bit. i have an idea for you. >> jimmy: you brought flash cards. >> now, i need to you make -- she is going to fast forward. if she is fast forwarding, if we do it really slowly -- >> jimmy: she will see it -- >> and it will play like real time. slo-mo your roll right now.
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where are we? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and we're back. there you go. >> i'm hoping that solves the problem. >> jimmy: that is a great use of technology. you have it figured out. >> she is going to be like 2,
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3, 4, where is 8? >> jimmy: i want to mention, how your mother seen the new movie yet? >> she has. she has seen the movie. >> jimmy: part of the movie there is literally a part of the movie. >> a big part. >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> thank you. there is a part of the movie where i -- i show my area, my goods. >> jimmy: i like that now you are shy about it. but when you actually have your penis out, that was not a problem. >> well, it wasn't a problem. if anything, i was concerned because i did it. i put it out there. the bar has been raised. and, you know, with the pie scene and all this stuff, i'm like, you know what? the world needs to see this. >> jimmy: you had to conquer it. >> and the world -- i just give the the fans what they want. >> jimmy: in the scene --
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>> so i made sure they held on the shot long enough. because they are in early cuts it's like is that really his? because that is a stunt penis, right? and i was like no. my penis did all its own stunts and no penises were harmed in the making of the movie. >> jimmy: did mom see it in the premiere of the film? >> yes she sat next to me at the premiere. very comfortable. listen, my mom, you know she made me but she hasn't seen my penis in what? six years? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's been awhile. >> it's been awhile you know. and so it was a little -- it's a little -- weird. >> jimmy: what did your wife think about this? >> she loves my penis. oh about the scene. she thought it was hilarious. she is a big fan of the scene,
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of my penis. >> jimmy: does she get along with your parents? >> she does get along with the penis, my parents, all of them. she gets along with my parents, she is a horrible influence on my parents. she has a tendency when they are in town of taking them for tattoos. >> jimmy: the photograph i have. >> do you have -- yeah, she did it a year and a half ago. i was on set. my wife was parent sitting and she texts me and she is like, oh, i just took your parents to get tattoos and i'm like are you serious? you got be kidding me! >> jimmy: did you parents have any tattoos before? >> no she gets them drunk, they got tattoos and they come out for the "american reunion" premiere a couple weeks a guy and she takes them back.
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and i'm in a press junket. and they are all tatted up now. >> jimmy: why is she doing it? >> she is joining hell's angels now. >> jimmy: what tattoos did they get? >> my mom got "thug life." my dad got a tear. >> jimmy: we are going to take a break. "american reunion" is the movie. we will be right back with jason biggs. [ male announcer ] there's always something new on applebee's 2 for $20 menu. over there, that's mike. we call him the comeback kid. 'cause he and his buddies they're always coming back to applebee's. [ male announcer ] right now, it's the jazzed up flavors of bourbon street. get one appetizer and two entrees for just 20 bucks like our totally inspired bourbon street chicken & shrimp loaded with cajun flavor on a sizzling skillet or our tender new blackened chicken penne. we love it when our neighbors come back, so we're always giving them a reason to. [ male announcer
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>> dicky: tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel live" -- from the national champion kentucky wildcats, anthony davis. "game of thrones" star lena headey. and music from needtobreathe. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] nothing
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do you think maybe it's time for you to meet someone else? dad? it's okay. what you're going through is -- is perfectly natural. you know, there are services out there -- >> services? like what? a happy ending? because i won't go there? i don't need that.
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i don't need that kind of massage, jim. because it's dangerous and you can pick things up. you don't want to know what you can pick up. talk to your uncle mort. he was in the hospital two weeks. >> that is disgusting. >> jimmy: jason biggs! "american reunion" opens in theaters friday. eugene levy. his eye brows get blacker each year. >> he likes to joke, maybe he is serious, they have their own agent. they are as important of a franchise as any of us. >> jimmy: he is like your movie dad. a long time you have been together. >> it's been 13 years and we were kids when we did the first movie. you know, i was a kid and i look up to him in so many ways in of.
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he is really like my second dad. and now, i'm a bit older and we go out and have drinks together. it's more civilized than it used to be. and i remember in "american pie," i just learned how to light my farts on fire. >> jimmy: that is a special time in a boy's life. >> and i said, this is a good year. and i am like, eugene, eugene. and he was like, oh that is happening. as only he can say. >> jimmy: you said that to him? >> i did. i'm still lighting my farts on fire. >> jimmy: you can't give up on that. sean william scott was here and he talked about every place you go, they make you take a picture
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with a pie. and i imagine for you personally, you probably get that a lot more than any of the people in the cast. >> i would -- i would assume so. and talking to the rest of the cast it seems i am clear winner of the "oh, another f'ing pie joke." it's great. >> jimmy: do you go to a rest sflant they bring them over? >> yeah, i get them sent over. the good news is that i like having sex with pies. so it's totally okay. if i didn't like it, it would be more annoying. >> jimmy: maybe a cake now and then would be nice or a bowl of ice cream. >> or sometimes a doughnut. the work is half done for you. >> jimmy: jason biggs! "american reunion" opens in theaters friday. we'll be right back with lionel richie.
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♪ ♪ open up. we have come for the foul, unholy beast. the one with the red markings. the miracle whip? stand aside that we may burn it. [ indistinct shouting ] have you ever tried it? it's actually quite sweet... and tangy. ♪ ♪ i like sweet things. [ man ] shut up, henry. ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. our next guest is one of the most beloved singer/songwriters of all time. before him, the best a woman could be was two times a lady. his new cd "tuskegee" is a collection of some of his biggest hits performed as duets, is number one on the country music charts. please say hello to lionel richie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: first, i want to say congratulations. what a -- >> sorry. sorry.
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>> jason, jason. great to see you. >> my mom is going to freak out. >> for your mother. >> jimmy: his mom is really excited about -- a beautiful, beautiful portrait. great. >> thank you. thank you. sorry. sorry. >> no, it's all right. it's okay. >> jimmy: well, he is very enthusiastic. >> i had a signal for jason's mom. here is the signal. turn it off. turn it off. i'm glad he came back out, or he wouldn't have been on the show. >> jimmy: that is right. how are you doing? >> i'm doing -- >> jimmy: i would think you are very, very excited right now. >> when you go straight in number one country. i mean give me a break. >> jimmy: you -- i mean, a lot of people anticipated this was going to be a number one album.
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heard a lot people talking about them. you have some of the biggest stars in country on them. shania twain willie nelson. >> jimmy: i love the "easy" with willie nelson. that is fantastic. >> and i love willie just has this one line. he has a voice of life when he comes in it's like, he needs no rehearsal. >> jimmy: he is stoned, baked out of his minds. he is unable to rehearse. he represents easy. he is as easy as sunday morning. >> he is not easy he is relaxed, baby. and i had so much fun with him. and he would say lionel who is going to sing the bridge. and i said you mean i want to be high? that is your part baby. i have him, i have him on my
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record saying, i want to be high. >> jimmy: i think he says that on every record he makes. how does it work? do you call the people up or they find out you are doing it? >> what i was going, you call and you reach everyone and you say, would you be interesting in it and they start singing the song they love. >> jimmy: who picks the song? >> they pick the song they love. kenny chesney called me at 4:00 in the morning nashville time. and he left this voice mail. lionel, my love i love you, lionel. i love you. you love so much. i love you so much. "my love," i want to sing "my love" with you. i love that. and he said i'm sorry, lionel. i drunk dialed you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and he got "my love".
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>> and he got it. and now we are recording in the studio and he comes in lionel i love you, i love you. i want to you meet -- my mother has never been to a recording session in my life. and she wanted to come down. and she walks, in lionel i love you. >> jimmy: you are making a killing with mothers. >> this is the most loving family i have met in my life. there is no hugging and kissing in the kenny chesney family. >> jimmy: in the original recording, kenny rogers sang in the background. >> they told me you came with that trivia and that is the truth. >> jimmy: and you wrote the song "lady" for kenny rogers and you sing the with kenny rogers on the album. >> it brings back so many
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memories. kenny is one of the guys that will not let you forget one thing. and he will not let me forget that when you pitch a song with the commodores you will never forget the song. and every guy thinks their ten songs will be the album. and my song is called "i love you" and you go -- ♪ i love you ♪ and they go, next. and i never pitched a song to anyone else. and i said i have the song it goes like this -- ♪ lady i'm your knight in shining armor and i love you ♪ do you like it? and he said what is the rest of it? and i said, if you like the rest of it, i will finish it. and he didn't hear another note
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until he walked into the studio. >> jimmy: and then you had it ready? >> no. we did -- one song "going to alabama" and the second song "lady." i said warm up with "going back to alabama" and we will go "lady" another day. and he walks in lionel i feel like "lady" tonight. the only problem is i only wrote the first verse. i think, maybe we will fudge around and he will not get it right. and he kills the first verse. and i said, where is the second verse. and i said, i will be right back. and i went back to the bathroom. and i wrote the second verse. >> jimmy: you wrote "lady" in the men's room? >> i wrote one of my greatest hit records, love songs, in the toilet. >> jimmy: well that is something
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else. [ applause ] >> he never -- and to show you how the rumor has been getting out, when i did "endless love," puper gruber and john peters sounds out i did that trick in the bathroom. when i got ready to do that they sent me a case of toilet paper and a bottle of champagne and said good luck on "endless love". >> jimmy: when you -- there is another song that is one of the biggest hits of all time, "we are the world," you wrote with michael jackson. how did that happen? did you trade off? a room together? >> no, this could be the epic series of all time. so michael is unusual. to say the least. funny as heck but you just don't know. and we are writing the lyrics to "we are the world" up in his
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room and i'm lying on the floor and we are playing it back. i'm trying to figure it out. and out of the corner of my eye, i see the album. and it falls over. and as i glance over my shoulder, i'm looking into the space of yellowish python. >> jimmy: what? >> and i am screaming like the last horror movie i have seen in my life. and he is like, oh my gosh, there he is. i knew he was lost in here some where. and i said, are you telling me you had a python -- and he said he has been lost for a week. are you kidding me? that is my trivia story. >> jimmy: you have a talent show you are going be hosting.
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called "duets" here on abc. >> so many times you watch the show and i'm going to say it there are a lot of singer everyone can sing. now, if i said to you, bob dylan, james brown, mick jagger, they are going to be on one of the shows, they would be the laughing stock of the show. bob dylan doesn't sing anything but dob dylan songs and james brown sounds like james brown. >> jimmy: that is the thing they miss. >> everybody, when you go to karaoke bar they are fantastic. when we did "we are the world" we had one line to sing and you knew who it was. we are not looking for singers. we are looking for stylists. people, you go, i know who that
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is. i'm not interested in how many notes you can hit. >> jimmy: people will be closing their eyes watching the show in this is television lionel. >> you have to relate. >> jimmy: this is the movies are in 3-d. this is 0-d. >> no it's going to be -- we are going to find -- i hate to say, the odd one. the unique talents. >> jimmy: there we go. maybe i should help you with it. this is the cd it's out now. we will be right back. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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♪ ♪ okay, so who ordered the cereal that can help lower cholesterol and who ordered the yummy cereal? yummy. that's yours. lower cholesterol. lower cholesterol. i'm yummy. lower cholesterol. i got that wrong didn't i? [ male announcer ] want great taste? honey nut cheerios. want whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol? honey nut cheerios. it's a win win. good? [ crunching, sipping ] be happy. be healthy. can i try yours?
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ring ring hello, progresso. it fits! fantastic! [ woman 2] ring ring progresso. they fit! awesome thk you ring, ring [ man ] pro-gresso they fit! okay-y... okay??? you don't understand.
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i've been eating progresso because there's... 40 flavors 100 calories or less and now my favorite old jeans...fit. okay is there a woman i can talk to? [ male announcer ] progresso. you gotta taste this soup. >> jimmy: this is the number one country album in america. it's called "tuskegee." here with billy currington and the song "just for you," lionel richie. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ ooh -- golden days, life was play pain was all a world away ♪ ♪ we went to school we learned the rules we trusted all they had to say ♪
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♪ then life took a turn we all had to learn and we can't go back again ♪ ♪ and my heart is breaking just for you just for you ♪ ♪ and my arms are open just for you just for you just for you ♪ ♪ god was god and dreams were dreams life was all cake and ice cream ♪ ♪ truth was true and lies were lies and we thought love would never die ♪ ♪ but the world moved on my illusions gone and i don't know who to blame ♪ ♪ and my heart is breaking just for you
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just for you ♪ ♪ and my arms are open just for you just for you ♪ ♪ and these tears i'm crying are for you just for you just for you ♪ ♪ i'm looking for protection give me shelter from the storm ♪ ♪ i just hope this light inside me keeps me strong ♪ ♪ yeah ♪
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